Tags
communication, etiquette, life-lesson, manners, poem, poetry, pretense, respect, self-knowledge, twenty four/seven, vampire
I didn’t like him and he didn’t like me. That much we understood. But in order to allow life to run smoothly and not to upset the apple-cart, we pretended that we did like each other. False smiles, false conversation. Empty words and empty laughter. He’d been visiting for a while and I thought she could’ve done better for herself. Where on earth had she found him? I called him “The Vampire”. He only appeared at night after 12.00. What did he do during daylight hours? He was very busy I was told. His busy-ness left me cold. Sounds to me like a tale of old: she wasn’t that important, but during the night when he was less busy, he could accommodate her. Not good enough I’m afraid.
And so the story unfolds. I liked him no better and he liked me no better but things came to a head one night when at a quarter to one he decided to visit. “Hiyoualright?” As he slinked upstairs and caught me in the light on the landing. I think it was meant to be “Hi., how are you?” But it was a quarter to one and I hadn’t set my vampire clock and was not pleased at all. No answer came from me, caught as I was in my unsociable attire, where do you think you are going at this time of night, outraged sensibility.
Vexation all around and hurt feelings abound. Hasty exits and another deposit in the bank of “what’s her problem?”. And when I’ve calmed down, I try to make amends. Try to bring it back to false smiles, false conversation, empty words and empty laughter. The conversation does not go well. “About the other night … I don’t really like you to visit at unsociable hours… this upset me … would prefer it if you didn’t do that”. Back came the reply: “You’re unsociable”. “You’ve never made me feel welcome in your home”. “Whose fault is it that I’ve been coming here for over one year and you have never tried to get to know me better?” Followed by: “I don’t care what you think. You called me, I never called you, so get off the ‘phone”. Could it have got worse? Clearly it did. Now, no false smiles, false conversation, empty words and empty laughter.
Lesson
Have respect for others. Respect their lives and how they choose to live. Do not presume that because you are on a 24/7 schedule, they are too and if they are not, they are unsociable and unwelcoming. Try to meet somewhere in the middle and never ever try to justify bad behaviour by blaming the other person for your own bad behaviour.
~MEW
Nice Marie! I like the cadence of it, and of course the lesson.
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Thank you Kathy! So pleased you liked the cadence – it was intended.
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Hi Marie,
It’s good to know that people aren’t perfect, but the Lord is. He fills us and gives us wisdom to give people grace, not an excuse for their behaviors.
Thanks,
Gary
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Thanks Gary. You are so right in what you say. Thank you for reminding me that there is the right way, the wrong way and the Lord’s way. Dealing with a situation with wisdom and grace is definitely the better way!
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Another fine piece of writing. I cannot, however, agree w/ the conclusion drawn.
There are genuine narcissists among us. Believing the world revolves around them, narcissists deliberately distort reality. That can have a tremendously negative impact on those around them, especially those who care for them.
Narcissists are never wrong, only “misunderstood”. The fault is never theirs, irregardless of how it may “seem” to others. Their needs are paramount, even when childish. This is not selfishness, it is a reflection of narcissists’ extraordinary “sensitivity”. So they will gladly tell anyone willing to listen.
The Vampire sounds to me like a narcissist. Your initial (“gut”) reaction was, I think, right on the money. If he was busy all day saving people from burning buildings or raising funds for starving children in Biafra, he could have taken the trouble to disclose that fact long before your confrontation. Why didn’t he call to apologize afterwards? He was the one who woke you, after all. Another man might have sent flowers. As for his accusation that you were unsociable, did he ever try to get to know you?
Call me unchristian. In my opinion, however, your response was appropriate and proportionate to the situation. Not only was the Vampire’s behavior a chronic irritant. You were concerned for your roommate’s welfare.
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You would think that I would’ve recognised a “narcissist” having grown up with one! But I had not even thought of him as one – my initial assessment was that he was disrespectful, arrogant and selfish. And of course a narcissist is all of those things and more! I had not prior to this done any real research on this type of behaviour – thank you for bringing this to my attention in your usual eloquent and articulate fashion.
And of course, it is never acceptable when dealing with such behaviours to “meet halfway”!! My roommate however still is mesmerised by this character and I can only pray that she untangles herself from him and sees him for what he is.
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I am so glad you weren’t offended! ❤ You are right to worry for your friend.
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Man this was thrilling. I felt like I was vampire years ago, shhhhhh don’t tell anyone. Hahhahahaha. Great point of view.
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Ha ha ha ha ha! You are so funny! Your secret is safe with me Tareau. 🙂
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The secret is out! HAHAHAHAHAH!!!! LOL!!!!!
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Haaa haaa haaa! How did that get out?? ! Shhhh… don’t tell anyone else! LOL
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I won’t! LOL!!! Poor Tareau 😉
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Another gorgeous piece of writing. Do you perform these live? They would be exhilarating in front of an audience.
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Thank you once again. No I don’t perform these live, but a friend of mine keeps prompting me to do so. Thank you for this huge compliment of my work. I can’t quite believe that my readers think so highly of what I write. Perhaps you are the spur I need to get me going! 🙂
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I’d have to agree with my cousin Ron, your writing is SUPERB!
This piece had me engaged from the first word to the last!
But, I have to agree with Silver Screenings; it would be MONSTER if you performed it live !!!
YAAAASSSSS! 🙂
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Thank you so much Lady G. You have made my week! I love that you think my writing is that good. You know I’m never sure about my writing. I guess I have to start believing people.:) I’m thinking about performing, I’ve done a couple of open mic readings, but I feel a little nervous about putting on a show. Thanks again for the ENORMOUS compliment. I’m lovin’ you a little more each day … :))))
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OMG! Did I just say OMG? Lord, I sound like my 10 year old. Anyway, OMG! You must believe us when we tell you that you should be performing. It was just that good 🙂
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OMG is not the preserve of 10 year olds. LOL This might be a little known fact, so OMG I believe Lady G. I’m a believer. And in true Lady G style: YAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSS! 🙂
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
I love that!
YAAAASSSSS!!!!
I hope you’re having an exquisite day Lady Marie 🙂
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HAAAAA HAAAAAAAAAA! I am having the most exquisite day, m’lady! I’m loving “Lady Marie”. YAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSS! How did that happen?
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LOL!!!
So let it be written, so let it be done!
When you are in my dominion you shall henceforth be known as Lady Marie!
YAAASSSS! M’lady!
YAAAASSSSSSS!
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I with my new accolade, do humbly promise to be a Lady for the rest of my days. I promise to screech YAAAAASSSSS! at least once a day and will honour the First Lady G. and read all her posts whether they be long or short. Yaaaaasssssssssss!!
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LOL!!!!!!
You are really funny 🙂
And what a beautiful oath Lady Marie!
Lady G now proclaims that you may go forth and be royalty–not just in this dominion…but EVER-Y-WHERE!
LOL!!!
YAAASSSS!
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It’s good to laugh isn’t it? I think you must be one very funny lady too. You just have to look at that wicked little expression of yours (and I mean this in the nicest way) and you just have to smile. YAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. OK now Lady G, should we wrap this one up now??!! :))) Who knows where it will end? We don’t want to kill the YAASSS yet, do we?
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LOL!!! To be continued!
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🙂 🙂 🙂
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