06 Tuesday Dec 2016
Posted in mental health, poem, Poetry, Uncategorized
Tags
animals, communication, compassion, emotion, harmony, healing, journey, mental health, metaphor, rejection, seeking appeoval, thoughts
“We are good because we are loved. We are not loved because we are good”. – Desmond Tutu
~ Marie Williams 2016
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Hmmmm good question at the end
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Thanks Tareau. How far should we go to get someone’s approval? Shouldn’t we be approved of for who we are and not what/how much we do? Agreed?
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Depends honestly in my opinion. We idolize people and want their approval in a lot of ways on life. We put people on a pedastal and get mad when they are not who we thought they were/are. Would you still be the same person without people around is the question?
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That’s so true Tareau. And that’s a very good question you pose! Tareau the scholar!
To some extent getting/receiving approval shapes the person you are/become. However there comes a point when you have to do what’s right for you. Pleasing others all the time can be self-destructive. :)x
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This was a great writing because it has so many layers. You could also say spiritually, us humans are always seeking answers and forgiveness from a higher power. You can also say that it’s human nature to appease others. You can also say that without approval what would be the outcome of mankind etc. So many avenues
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Absolutely! So many ways to look at this, and that’s the beauty of writing something like this and getting feedback from my lovely followers.:)
I think the best kind of writing is the one which engages others and allows them to raise issues that you hadn’t even thought about. Great comment, Tareau!
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You made me think with this post, Marie, and what I thought was, ‘be careful what you wish for’!
“When we fall in love, we hope – both egotistically and altruistically – that we shall be finally, truly seen: judged and approved. Of course, love does not always bring approval: being seen may just as well lead to a thumbs-down and a season in hell.”
― Julian Barnes, Nothing to Be Frightened Of
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Dear Hariod, how very wise you are! I love the quote, and doesn’t it just say it all?
So yes, very wise: we must be careful what we wish for, often when we get it, we realise that isn’t what we want at all.
On a lighter note: there were certain things I wished for at one point in my life, one of them being …. no I’m too shy to say! 🙂 Now I have both of my wishes, and I wish I had another wish to “unwish” them. Isn’t that just like life? 🙂
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Go on, say it. Perhaps put it in a very roundabout way – all about animals, or something? Allegorical. Or maybe alligatorical?
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I was going to bargain with you, but I suspect that might be to my detriment.:) I was going to ask you to write another post explaining your last post: something like ‘Nothingness for Simple Folk’ :)))
Ok, I’ll do it in the form of a riddle:
Riddle me this, riddle me that
I come in pairs, no not pears
I try not to egg you on
But sometimes I despair
You say you like pancakes
And you’re not fussed
So why did I catch you
Looking at her bust?
Have you guessed yet? 🙂
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Totally clueless! Pancakes? I give up! 😕
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I had you down for a modern day Sherlock Holmes, Hariod. I thought my clues were a dead give away – how quickly you throw the towel in?! Maybe you ought to enlist Watson: It’s definitely not pancakes, but you’re getting hotter … 🙂
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Quick to throw the towel in? I went for a two hour walk trying figure it out! Trying to keep abreast of your veritable chest of riddles and allusions to the bard is proving somewhat beyond my grasp.
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Ha ha ha Hariod! Funny that the first two letters of ha ha are the same as the first two of your name? If you take it a bit further (as I often like to do):) ‘riod’ sounds a bit like ‘riot’, and in my clumsy, charming way, I guess I’m saying ha ha you are a riot, Hariod!
So you were teasing me and you had guessed correctly? mmmm…. I wonder if your guesswork preceeded or followed my well-timed email giving you the answer??
Two – hour walk at age 3 going on 93 must be something to be proud of. I salute your gallant efforts young man, not only for guessing correctly but also for being so sprightly and all in the cause of ‘Shakespeare’.
I wouldn’t lay odds on the ‘grasp’ being beyond you …:))))
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Slightly moving away from this topic, Hariod, I wonder if when you have the time, you might like to check out my about the author page as there are some interesting comments between looneybitch (Jackie) and moi, which you might find calming after your two hour walk.
They are toward the end of the comments section for ease of access. You are under no obligation, but I thought you would want to know that ‘she’ has been a little unkind … and I have been in your corner, the whole time! 🙂
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😮
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:))))
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All duly read and digested, Marie, and I have no problem having my leg-pulled by such lovely people. I consider myself quite absurd, in fact, but then absurdity comes with the human condition, wouldn’t you say?
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I can’t believe that you read all of this in its entirety, Hariod. And within such a short time of directing you there. Ah if I had this sort of influence on everyone!
I can’t think of a lovelier person/leg to pull. You are such fun, Hairdo!:) If I could do one of those little ‘heart’ symbols that you/others do, I would, but I’ve no idea how to do that so you’ll have to make do with one of these instead: x.
You are not in the least absurd, but I do agree that absurdity makes life a little easier and is very much part of the human condition.
Was that the ‘right’ answer, Hariod?
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https://en.support.wordpress.com/emoji/
H ❤
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M<3
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Oh dear! That didn’t appear to work. One must go back to the drawing board/link you sent. All in good time! :))
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P.S. If you saw me dance you’d soon see how absurd I was. 🙄
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Is that an invitation or a fact? 🙂
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… or possibly a theory which could be disproved? Or, maybe all three? :))))
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Well, at the beginning of the twentieth century I could jive pretty well, then I started to seize up as the 1950s arrived; now at 119 the best I can manage is a bit of Prancercise. Tell me what you think, Marie; I don’t look my age, do I? Do I?
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Well what an interesting question you pose, Hariod. I cannot tell a lie. That is my truth, and so I must be honest and tell you that I rarely enter into debates concerning the passing of time and the ageing process. That said, I feel I would do you a disservice if I were to give you false hope. May I reserve judgement until a later time when I am able to construct a neutral yet positive opinion on this matter. I almost said ‘dilemma’ but would not want to un-nerve you before giving my honest opinion – I would hate to think of you waiting with baited breath for a reply which might take some while to formulate, as I am at present dealing with more pressing issues than whether or not you look your age.
Your message is important to me. Please hold on, you are fourth, sorry I mean 93rd in the queue …:)
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I hate to tell you this, but ‘Prancercise’ is not a dance I am familiar with. This being so, and I am no expert mind, the Encyclopaedia of Dance which was co-written by two of my fore-fathers does not include this term. Therefore, I would seriously look again at what it is you are actually doing. Might it be a form of the early stages ‘Icannotdance’ disease/syndrome? I would check with your GP at the earliest convenience …
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Can I offer a word of hope? It is treatable though on the NHS. What a blessing for you? You might have a long wait, but fortunately, once you have this condition it rarely poses a threat to your lifestyle, I’m sure you’ll be pleased to know. And white and pink, whilst not suiting everyone, makes you feel slightly better, so I would stock up on these colours if you have not already done so …:)
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Hariod, I am sorry to have kept you waiting and I hope my ‘holding’ messages went some way to easing the tension.
In short, no you do not look 119. Sorry, I have re-read the question, and you’re actually asking if you look your age. I think that age-old question has no basis in modern times and western civilisation. It is not a question you should be asking. The question is not that, but “Do I look as if I should be doing Prancercise at my age?”, and to that I would answer : age is no barrier to the yearnings of the soul.
I hope this has answered your question. 🙂
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Heartbreakingly easy to confuse approval with love and/or
💜 Jackie@KWH
love with approval, unfortunately!
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You make such a good point, Jackie. It can get so complicated, can’t it? Thanks for raising this. :)XxX
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This may be the cutest thing I’ve ever seen! How clever you are!! You certainly have impressed me, if not the cat. :)))
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Thank you Anna. However, I cannot tell a lie, it was not all down to me. I had help from a lovely blogging buddy called Twenty7zero3. The words were mine, but the shape I have to give credit to her.
You are too funny about impressing you, if not the cat! hahahaha
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Can
we
please
get
a
whole menagerie
of poems? I’d like a
giraffe poem 😊
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Hahahahahahahahhaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LOVE IT!!!!!!
I love your ‘animal’ but I’m not sure what it is. Is it a swan? It has a long neck. But no visible head/beak. Does it have identity issues? lol
I have a small confession, although the words are mine, the shape was formed by a lovely blogger called Twenty7zero3. There is a long strory behind this which I won’t bore you with now. Perhaps I ought to have included her in the credits.
So dear Mek, much as I would love to satisfy your desire for a menagerie of poems, my capabilities only run to words I’m afraid. I hope I haven’t disappointed you. 🙂
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It was meant to be a giraffe! maybe turning it’s head into the z axis haha and kneeling. Not disappointed that you can’t create it but a little disappointed that that technicality would stop you. I would like a cat with long whiskers please 🙂
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Mek you are too demanding!!!! LOL Do you wonder now that I was unfaithful to you recently? Isn’t it enough that I write, some would say brilliant (get me, huh?) poetry. Do I have to do cartwheels/handstands too?? hahaha
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No, you’re great just the way you are 💕 but I still want a cat, horse, elephant and crab.
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I’ll give you cat, horse, elephant and crab, young lady!!! Hahahhaaa
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Aww thanks Marie xx
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:)xx
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Lady M! This is a very thought provoking post! I was following the dialogue between you and Tareau. It reminded me of something I heard Nikki Giovanni say. She said, “Those that we place on pedestals we tend to crucify in the end.”
You’ll have to excuse me if I got it a little bit jumbled but I know you get the message.
When we look at celebrities, we see this all the time. One day you’re hot; they next day you are being completely maligned. I don’t know why we have a tendency to do that to one another.
Anyway, as always, you have given us another beautiful pearl 🙂
Always love and light!
G
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Lady G! Thank you for your generous comment. Another beautiful pearl? Pearls are so precious aren’t they? You are always talking about precious stones: gems and pearls – lovely thought!
I have not heard that quote, but it does ring true. Not only in the celebrity world, which in itself is a false view of the world: the mix of glamour, money, fame: all are a manufactured product and do not have a basis in reality. So easy to buy into this falsehood and lose touch with reality which is vastly different.
I think the reason why we find it so easy to put others on a pedestal and no sooner we do that, we malign them is because we have such unrealistically high expectations of others. From birth, through childhood we are ‘expected’ to achieve. And if we don’t we are considered of little value (by some). We equate ‘value’ and ‘worth’ with how much we achieve and possess or what we can contribute. The sooner we move away from this faulty way of viewing one another, the sooner we will be able to value one another for our uniqueness and who we are in terms of this: our purpose and how we can affect each others lives in good ways.
I think I’ve waffled on a bit here, and didn’t really intend to say all this – I just hope it makes sense when I read it back.
Once again thanks for your insightful comment and it’s good to talk again.
Always love and light, my friend and I hope that cold is much better now.:)
Mxx
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This all makes perfect sense, and yes you always drop very precious stones.
We are blessed by them–that’s real talk 🙂
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Aww thank you Lady G. I am blessed by your friendship – you are a precious gem. :)x
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💞
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This post is exactly what I was saying on Part I, but here it is much more succinct 🙂 Also, I’d recently read a book called The Four Agreements. One of the agreements touches on what Gwin mentions, which is not to get tied up into the opinions of others, basically because people are, well…fickle! Approval feels good and can be good, but it’s SEEKING approval that tends to get some of us into a bind. Seeking others’ approval really is detrimental and it can also be a bit exhausting.
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I couldn’t have said this better, Kathy. Thank you!
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Short and sharp. Like that! I think we are pathetic in the true sense of the word when we try to get people to like us. We go against what we think and believe just for grains of approval which are not genuine. They couldn’t care if we like them or not, they don’t like us. However for us to be liked by them is immense. It takes a lot of strength to say ” well I don’t like what you stand for and I don’t care if you like me or not”. You need a lot of confidence to do that. I do try and I try to be true ot myself without currying favour. Doesn’t always work…..
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I do not wish to know the more personal details of your life. Tee hee…
Back to the comment: I agree. We (humans) do that all the time don’t we? Mind you, there are some out there who don’t give a fig what others think. I wish I were more like that, but I do have this tendency to crave approval. You do approve of me don’t you Jackie? Don’t you? :)))
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BTW I never get notifications about your posts… only if you like some reply but never when you do a new post. Thanks for telling me
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Strange eh? Forgive me, but I thought you were following me? No? Not a problem, but I just wonder why I thought that…
I just go to your blog every so often to keep up with yours.
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