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anxiety, birthday, birthday gift, character, children, creativity, disappointment, emotion, friendship, life lessons, love, palpable, poverty, retrospect, school girls, struggking, symbolic, trust
Jenny C
I never imagined as a pupil at John D Primary school ever writing about two of my classmates in years to come. It didn’t occur to me that at the time I was learning valuable life lessons. It is only now in retrospect that I see how important it is to value every thing that life throws at you, however painful. There is wisdom in looking carefully and profoundly at certain events which colour one’s life and paint the picture that is your life. To relegate disappointments to the dustbin of life is to throw away pearls. Pearls are not always beautifully shaped and formed when they are discovered: much goes into the process of refining them so that they become a beautiful adornment. You may wish to wear them or you may wish to lock them away in a vault, but either way, their beauty is evident and can never be lost.
Jenny M taught me about human frailty, loyalty and trust. Jenny C taught me about humility, friendship, gentleness and creativity, and ultimately the act of giving. Now these two shared the same Christian name, but apart from that they differed physically and in their characters. I still recall Jenny M’s brilliant emerald green eyes and raven black hair. She was a very pretty girl and I can only imagine that she would become stunningly beautiful. Jenny C was blonde, blue eyed and not at first obviously pretty, but there was beauty in her genuine smile and those innocent blue eyes. The two were such opposites: light and dark, soft and gentle (JC), tough and a go-getter (JM), both were my friends. Interestingly I see myself in all their characteristics and that could be why I gravitated to them and they to me.
Jenny C taught me about the act of giving and receiving. It was my 11th birthday. When Jenny C found out that it was my birthday she said she had a present at home to give me. I became excited at the prospect of this, wondering what the gift could possibly be. All sorts of things went through my mind and I eagerly awaited the gift. But days went by and there was no gift forthcoming. I became disappointed, then anxious, and finally embarrassed. It was obvious that Jenny C had been untruthful about the gift she had bought me. Each day, for over the course of a week she would come in and not quite meeting my expectant eyes offer up an excuse why she hadn’t been able to bring the gift into school.
It came to the point where I tried in my own way to let her know that I understood that she had made a promise that she was not able to keep. By the end of maybe the second week I had long given up hope of ever receiving anything from her, and I sensed in her something that I couldn’t quite articulate. It was as if she thought so highly of me that she wanted my friendship and she wanted to be able to give me something that would be a symbol of the esteem in which she held me. These are my adult thoughts on the matter and my interpretation of her actions. This is what I felt aged 11, but I would never have been able to put it into words.
Then one Friday, she asked if I could follow her home to pick up the gift as she had forgotten to bring it with her to school. She didn’t live too far away from school and I could go around to her home and get the gift and still be home by the time I was expected home. So I followed her to her house and we entered her bedroom after having greeted her mother. It became obvious that her mother was not very well off and was a single parent. But then neither was my family well off – at the time we were living in two rooms at the top of my uncle’s house.
Jenny C placed the carefully wrapped present in my hands. It was wrapped in what looked like tissue paper and tied with string. I opened it. Inside were some shells, some pebbles and some coloured beads with a small piece of paper on which was written birthday greetings to me. My disappointment was palpable. I didn’t know that at the time as I didn’t know the word ‘palpable’ but having learned it now, I look back and realise that was how I felt.
I had the good grace to offer up a weak smile and thank her very much and off home I went with the gift which I looked at once more when I got home disdainfully before putting it somewhere. I don’t think I looked at it ever again. It is only now through adult eyes that I treasure that gift and how much trouble Janet C had gone to, to give me something to show how important I was to her. In my childish expectant way, I had looked for something which she plainly could not give me. She had no money. Her mother was plainly struggling. She had the creative sense to put together some stones, beads and shells – all she had, tie them up with string and to give them to me with love.
How often is something given to us, something precious, not costing the earth in terms of monetary value, but symbolically valuable? How do we receive the gift of love? And do we recognise it when we see it? Now as an adult I see how precious that gift from Jenny C was. What a contrast to Jenny M’s gift?
Summing up, both gifts were valuable in terms of learning. I have learned that trust needs to be earned and not given away and that precious gifts do not have to cost money. It’s not the gift that is important, it is the act of giving and what it symbolises to me.
~ Marie Williams 2016
* Jenny M and Jenny C are not their real names.
Oh, how lovely! That gift became a gift of the heart.
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Yes! In a way it was the gift that kept on giving. At the time, I foolishly couldn’t appreciate it, but with maturity I can now see how precious that gift was. I’m thankful that I eventually got to see this.:)
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Wow Mrs. Williams way to break her heart by being ungrateful. Lmfao naw as I mentioned before, kids will be kids. Every child does not understand the concept of what a true gift is, until they get older. I’m glad you realized that because there’s adults today who don’t appreciate a gift when they get it. Great part 2
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Yes you’re absolutely right Tareau. We have to view this in the context that at the time we are talking about 10/11 year old children who mature at different rates and also do not have the maturity to think ‘outside of the box’. I didn’t break Jenny C’s heart because at no time did she realise that I wasn’t impressed by her gift at the time. With the good manners I had been taught, I knew enough to accept the gift gracefully if not gratefully. Thanks for commenting. As always, you make a very good point about kids being kids.
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What a touching story! I am so glad you had a friend who recognized your value. They say friends are our chosen family. For those of us who endured abuse that is especially true. Do not be too hard on yourself for disdaining Jenny C’s gift, at first. We need the perspective of age for the wisdom to understand certain life experiences. Much as I enjoy blogging, I am not a great advocate for social media. But I wonder if you couldn’t find Jenny C on Facebook? Alot of people reconnect w/ childhood friends. I’m sure she remembers you w/ affection. ❤
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Thanks Anna. You always say the right thing.:)
Yes it would be wonderful to connect with both girls, especially Jenny C. But I have a feeling she might be married and would therefore have changed her surname. Although, you never know, she might still be using her maiden name, so it might be worth a try. It would be amazing to talk to her after all these years.
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I use both my surname and my married name. I’ve noticed many women do the same in hopes of reconnecting with school friends. I’ve reconnected with many whom I’ve thought about all through the years. It’s been a JOY to find them on FB.
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OK Susan. I’ll have a go at ‘finding’ Jenny C, spurred on by you. Thank you!:)
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I really hope you find her! 😉 ❤
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You are lovely for saying that. Thank you so much, and if/when I do, you’ll be on the list to know! 🙂 XxX
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Aweeeeeeeee, thank you! 🙂
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🙂 🙂 x
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We never quite know the reach of our actions, do we, Marie? I can think of little incidents that on the surface seem innocuous enough but which for one reason or another have stayed with me down through the years. I suppose it’s a confluence of circumstances and our own conditioning that make one event stick and other, seemingly as significant to others on the surface, not?
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Hariod, you are a philosopher and a scholar! 🙂
I couldn’t agree more. It’s so funny how these two incidents of all the incidents that have happened to me in my 90 years of life, these two amongst a few others stay with me. Perhaps it is because, within the incident is something important which needs to be addressed and is part of this rich and diverse journey we call life. Btw, I’m not 90, but sometimes I imagine that how I feel some days is what it feels like to be 90. 🙂
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Hope to see some others stop in here: https://shatteredinhim.com/2016/12/20/gifts-of-recognition/
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JD, I’m blown away by your generosity and thank you so much for mentioning me. Bless you!
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Merry Christmas to you and yours! 🙂
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Merry Christmas and a Happy and Peaceful New Year to you too JD. I look forward to sharing with you in 2017. So blessed to have met you! :)x
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Likewise to you!! I will keep those prayers going!!! Big hug!!
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Thanks so much and big hug back!! 🙂 XxX
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Do you stil have that present? Maybe not, but you do have the memories! Isn’t it strange that memories can be almost as good as the present. Do you think younger children/people have lost some of that sensitivity and creativeness that we use to have? Is it because parents today ” interfere” and cocoon more than our parents used to with us?
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Oh how I wish I had treated that gift with the gratitude it deserved, and how I wish I still had it. But with many house moves, and the initial disdain at receiving a few old pebbles, beads and shells, they are consigned to the dustbin of time. Luckily, my heart has retrieved them and that gift is now a symbol of gratitude for me.
To answer your question Jackie, I don’t want to generalise here as that would be so easy to do. I like to think that there is still much sensitivity and creativity out there. Maybe the ‘fakeness’ of modern living somewhat overshadows that, but I want to believe that there is a lot of goodness out there.
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Hey Jackie! For what it’s worth, I have only just now just seen the wonderful pun in your comment on December 20th: ‘Isn’t it strange that memories can be almost as good as the present’. A ‘present’ is a gift. So the ‘memory’ is almost as good as the ‘present’ Thanks for that! 🙂
#yawn (this revelation might be quite boring for you) lol
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It was a slow news day!
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🙂 🙂
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This was beautifully written and a tribute to your little friend who surely wrapped all her precious treasures to give as a gift to you. Being young, I’m impressed you showed such grace, good for you! It is in growing older we begin to value life through different eyes. Precious reading here.
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Thank you so much Susan. Your comments are always insightful and encouraging. Yes we value life as we get older, and I guess that is what it is all about really. In youth you gain the experience and then you are able to demonstrate wisdom because of what you have learned.
Wishing you a Merry Christmas and a blessed New Year! 🙂
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I think Goodness exists EVERYWHERE… it just gets hidden from time to time. Like you, I have trashed presents only realising later their true value. All humans are born good. that’s not a religious quote but how I feel. No one really wakes up in the morning and wants to cause mayhem of varying degrees, it happens. Its a sad state the places some people visit, but they would change in a heartbeat if they could. I really do think, and this is a hackneyed phrase, but the less people have, the more real and generous they are. ( sorry that is a stereotype and you don’t like those, I know) Oh, Merry Christmas.
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Jackie, you can stereotype all you like. It’s ok with me.:)) And besides, it’s Christmas!!!
I agree with you about goodness being everywhere. The problem is that we (humans, not just us two) seem to focus on all the bad stuff most of the time. Not sure why that is.
Do you think psychopaths would ‘change in a heartbeat if they could’? I must admit I struggle with this one, having lived with one for many years. They didn’t seem to want to change at all despite the mayhem (putting it lightly here) they caused.
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I do think they would change – if they were able to. I guess some are really ” weak” people and unable to drastically change. I don’t know… but I don’t think our instinct is to destroy, unless sometimes the hard wire is wrong.
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Perhaps you are right. I have been searching my whole life for answers. It’s hard when one of your parents is a psychopath, difficult to know how to deal with their crazy behaviour, try to see it for what it is, and not be affected adversely bit. So, so hard!
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I don’t think its a child’s job to understand how a parent behaves. That road leads to madness and how can you, or any child, be made to feel responsible for the actions of a parent. Its often the way. The child takes the guilt of the parent. I once read that when a child becomes 21, you need to ” divorce” your parents in your head. You are an adult and so can be master of your destiny and not let parents hold you back. That probably sounds glib. it wasn’t meant to… it was simply ” I get it…be strong!”
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Thanks! I have been trying to be strong my whole life. I know you don’t mean to be glib. 🙂
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I re-read my post. When I wrote ” you” I did mean ” one” as I don’t want to negate your history. I think you are a strong soul and God never gives us what we cant deal with…. I truly believe that and believe you me, I have had some dark, dark moments
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Another great story! Thank you for sharing this with us…
Steve
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Thank you Steve. Have a lovely Christmas and I wish you a peaceful and blessed New Year. Thanks for taking the time to comment over recent months – really appreciated!
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It is my pleasure, absolutely! Enjoy your Christmas and may the Lord bless you and yours in the coming year…
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What a beautiful story of grace and insight.
Isn’t it wonderful when we are introspective enough to review and learn from the actions of our younger selves?
Excellent post 🙂
By now it’s your bedtime 🙂
Pleasant dreams sweetie ✨
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Thank you Lady G. Your kind words are a gift to me- very precious. 🙂
Thank you too for the bedtime wishes. I hope you are having a good day so far, as I realise it is morning there for you. Wub you Lady G!x
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You know I WUB you right back!
That’s for real!
😘💋
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🙂 xx
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This is beyond beautiful….I am choked up and in awe of your insight and giftedness….and, I can imagine that you wish you could turn back the clock and return the intended kindness…or, let (adult) Jenny know how much she, her gift, that lesson meant/means to you…I don’t know that I’ll share it, but your offering put me in mind of a long-forgotten (but, vivid) childhood memory–and the wish to do it over…. 🙂 Thanks for sharing…this was so powerful on many levels and is evidence of such heart and wisdom 🙂
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Oh! My! Goodness! What an absolutely beautiful comment. If awards were being given, I would say this would be a nomination. Thank you so much! And yes I feel all of those sentiments. And I do so wish you’d share, but I respect your wish not to.
You’re not Jenny C are you?? :)))
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Hahahahahha….no, I’m not….hahahhaha…great sense of humour. As for my do-over-if-I-could…I will tell you another day…if I recount it now, it will distract me from my current focus (the post I’m writing). 🙂
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Oh ok then (sniff sniff/disappointment). Seriously, when you are ready to tell me about your do-over, I’m all ears. 🙂
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So poignant, thank you for sharing these lovely memories x
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Vonita, I am so happy that you took the time to read ALL of those posts!! Thank you so much – so kind of you!
And thank you for your kind comment here. It’s a pleasure to share lovely memories. We hear so much about all the bad things that happen in life, that the many good things which happen are often overshadowed.
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I enjoyed reading your posts, thank you 😊
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🙂 🙂
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