The Community Associations’ Winter Carnival 2016

30 Thursday Mar 2017

Posted by mariewilliams53 in reblogging, Uncategorized, Writing

Tags

awareness, Cheryle. Lightwalker's Blog, children, comfort zone., communication, creativity, friendship, harmony, In light and love, inspiration, reflections, relationships

Sometimes, Cheryle, experiences outside of our ‘comfort zone’ can be the most inspiring experiences. It’s taken me many years to learn this as I’m shy, reserved, quiet and a little bit unsociable :))), but I find when I make the effort to do something which is unsettling, I derive great pleasure and a sense of achievement which (sometimes) spurs me on to get involved in other uncomfortable places. Thank you for sharing.

Lightwalkers Blog

Today was a day filled with children and activities definitely outside my comfort zone. Today the Community Association held its Winter Carnival. Today I played with children of all ages. Some were three and some were eleven and the others were all the ages in-between.

20161211_115212

Yes, I helped out at the colouring contest table sponsored by the Ogden Seniors 50+ Activity Club. We had a multitude of Christmas pictures to colour, crayons, and prizes to be won. The kids lined up at our table excited to spend a few minutes shading stockings, wreaths, and Christmas trees with the waxy crayons. A chance to win a five dollar McDonalds gift card was an easy enticement for many of the young people tagging along behind their Mom or Dad as they wandered from booth to booth. Alone in their zone, they chatted quietly about their schools, their ages, their siblings and in some…

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(March 19/17) “Come As You Are…You Can’t Help But Be Beautiful”

26 Sunday Mar 2017

Posted by mariewilliams53 in mental health, reblogging, Uncategorized

≈ 13 Comments

Tags

come as you are, communication, esoteric, gifts, inspiration, layers, listening, Neal, party, plain and simple!, puns, spinach, trulyunplugged, wrapping. acceptance

WOW!!!!!!!!!!! What an amazing post! I LOVE IT!!! Seriously Truly, I love this post on so many levels:
Level 1 – I was the inspiration
Level2 – You my dear are one helluva writer
Level3 – I didn’t need to keep reading and re-reading (but I’m lazy like that lol) (Give me easy over hard anytime!)
Level 4 – the content was just brilliant: sharing, explaining, revealing a ‘deeper and more meaningful’ character – not to say that you are not already!
Level 5 – your versatility!
Level 6 – being so accommodating and respectful of my lone voice – so sweet!
Level 7 – I’m going to stop here, because I realise I need the rest of the day to write all the other levels and I don’t want to be the ‘bore’ at the party.
Thank you Neal for ‘spinach’. Thank you Truly for listening to Neal. Thank me for my audacity! And most of all Thank you for being ‘Truly’.

I Will Wry-se Up

Hi, Wonderfuls,

Just now, Marie and I were exchanging comments; and when I thanked her for taking the time to read/re-read…and re-read my posts (in order to wrap her head around my messages) she wrote….

“No trouble at all, Truly. I just wish that the real world would emulate the blogging world in the respect that we try to understand each other better. Sometimes the “gift” is wrapped so well you need to take the time to remove the layers to truly(!) appreciate what others give. <3”

What a beautiful perspective…how generous. This is evidence of a true desire for connection–this willingness to meet people where they are. And, it is in that spirit that I share what follows.

(But, first, here’s where to find Marie…she is amazing!)

https://mariewilliams53.wordpress.com/

So, I love creative writing/writing creatively–it’s my equivalent of painting, or figure skating, or belting a power ballad, or rocking a…

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The Twins, Part 2 – Perfectionism

21 Tuesday Mar 2017

Posted by mariewilliams53 in abuse, child abuse, mental health, reblogging, Uncategorized

≈ 13 Comments

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Anna Waldherr, avoicereclaimed, childhood, collaboration, expectations, family, fear, healing, perfectionism, procrastination, relationships, restoration, spirituality, twins

This is the second part of Anna Waldherr’s brilliantly written post on the twins: procrastination and perfectionism. Again thank you Anna for inviting me to collaborate on this – not only was it a joy, but it also helped me to see why it was so important for me to be perfect in an imperfect world. Now I know that I don’t need to be and I hope others will see that they don’t need to be perfect either. We are worthy just as we are.

ANNA WALDHERR A Voice Reclaimed, Surviving Child Abuse

Siamese Twins, Nuremberg Chronicles (1440-1514) (PD-Old)

This post was written in collaboration with Marie Williams whose remarks are highlighted. Marie blogs at Come Fly with Me, https://mariewilliams53.wordpress.com.

We return to the topic of procrastination and perfectionism, related patterns of behavior in which many abuse victims find themselves trapped.

The part we play in creating our own dilemmas – the large and small crises in our lives stemming from procrastination – was discussed in Part 1 of this series.

Chance for Failure (Imperfection)

“…for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control” (2 Tim. 1: 7).

Apart from the problems it would generate for anyone, failure – defined by many abuse victims as imperfection, to any small degree – results in shame and self-revilement for us. Since creating these dilemmas greatly increases our chance for failure, the question arises why we persist…

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The Twins, Part 1 – Procrastination

13 Monday Mar 2017

Posted by mariewilliams53 in abuse, child abuse, Domestic Violence, mental health, reblogging, Uncategorized

≈ 24 Comments

Tags

Anna Waldherr, anxiety, approval, avoicereclaimed, chaos, clutter, comfort, grief, loss, love, making sense of, procratination, self-sabotage, survival

Once again Anna, you have given us a clear, compassionate and sensitive view on the ways in which abuse affects the lives of survivors. I don’t personally believe that procrastination affects only those of us who have been abused because it is something that can be present in the lives of everyone to some extent. But here we are talking about how chaos affects those of us who have experienced severe and traumatic abuse and how procrastination manifests itself in a way that makes a survivor’s life even more difficult than it already is.
As Anna Waldherr says: “In the aftermath of emotional abuse, victims may try desperately to be perfect — at home, at school, at work — in the hope of winning the approval denied us as children. Of course, we should not have to “win” love at all. It should be freely given, certainly to children. As for procrastination, the longer we put off a task, the greater the likelihood we will fail to complete it “perfectly”, perhaps fail to complete it at all”.

ANNA WALDHERR A Voice Reclaimed, Surviving Child Abuse

Entwined Geminis, Safavid Dynasty, Persia (c. 1635), Author Unknown, Source pinterest.com (PD)

This post was written in collaboration with Marie Williams whose remarks are highlighted. Marie blogs at Come Fly with Me, https://mariewilliams53.wordpress.com.

“Most of my life has been spent circling or avoiding important things that I need to do and I get very frustrated with myself. Sometimes, I find myself trying to locate passports or important papers at the 11^th hour, when I’ve had ample time to deal with matters like this.”
-Marie Williams

Procrastination and perfectionism are patterns of behavior well familiar to abuse victims, twin destructive forces that have deep meaning for those who have suffered abuse.

We invest the necessary (the “shoulds” and “musts” of life) with the power to annihilate us, or at least demolish the fragile image we have of ourselves. Then we defer, delay, and defer again – certain that we will…

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