Tags
Alice, attic, child, childhood, dark complexities, discovery, literature, loss, mad hatter, making sense, Milton, Oscar Wilde, paradise, reality, social anxiety, Wonderland
Source: Google Images photo: Ruya Foundation
“When children are trying to make sense of things that are beyond their understanding, they will usually try and work it out within the context that they do know and understand. … I watch as art is used as a reconnection point, the bridge, between the destruction of self, and the beginning of some sense of future, of hope. It seems that in this reclamation of the soul art is reborn”. – Justine Hardy, author and trauma psychologist, on art, conflict and healing.
Alice, Milton & Oscar: Making Sense of it All
Later much later, but before she had discovered that Oscar wasn’t really wild, and Milton’s paradise wasn’t lost, at least not lost the way she perceived it, rather that it wasn’t in the place that she had put it, and it was there after all, on the book shelf, partly covered by Alice’s adventures in wonderland, a place that she would not want to visit even if the mad hatter personally escorted her there. Besides, she hated tea parties!
Her own reality was such that it seemed more fitting to smile outwardly, while life as she knew it passed her by in a fog of pretence. Much of her childhood embraced activities which should have been enjoyable but were somehow grubbily tinged by the other stuff which did not make sense, at least to her, but she was in no position to prevent, avoid or escape from. So while brushing her teeth each morning, she would squirm as something else brushed up against her which on inspection did not foam and certainly did not leave her feeling clean and sparkling.
A sense of inadequacy pervaded the world in which she existed, and she questioned what was real and what was not. But childish views and thoughts are no match for the dark complexities which swirl in never-ending circles. There was not enough time to make sense of it all, and yet there was more than enough time, so she decided that instead of going around and around in circles, she would place it all in the attic that Oscar talked about. And if somehow, paradise lost, languishing on the book shelf could be found, then, perhaps the mad hatter would be just the person to help her find it.
~ Marie Williams – 2017
Yes, and well described. I wonder how long we carry these glimpses and flashbacks – likely for the rest of our lives. Sharp and cold uninhabitable islands in an otherwise clear-flowing stream. I am right there with you, Marie. And the best I have managed is quite good, actually. Then there are times I still wonder if I’ll make it to whatever perceived end might seem appropriate. Aloha and love ❤
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Thank you Bela. I think those glimpses and flashbacks pretty much remain part of the landscape. The good thing is that that landscape viewed from adult eyes is not as threatening as in childhood, and we can now make our own reality and not the one forced upon us. It can only get better. Aloha and love, dear Bela ❤
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Such a thoughtful insightful post. Thank you Marie 💛🙏💛
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Thank you so much Val for kindly sharing your thoughts. 💛
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A poignant word picture of abuse, from a child’s perspective, Sam. You’ve captured with utmost sensitivity the interaction between a painful reality and the fantasies which form such an important part of a child’s world. The swirl of confused emotion serves almost as a colorful ribbon around the package — a child’s attempt to make sense of what is ultimately incomprehensible.
The child’s artwork and the psychologist’s quote you chose to accompany the piece are a perfect pairing. Justine Hardy rightly refers to art as the bridge between a child’s lost self — her lost innocence — and a brighter future. Your own work of art illustrates that point.
There are tears in my throat.
With love,
Your friend Tu ❤ ❤ ❤
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You Tu, are the most wonderful friend. You absolutely ‘get’ what I was aiming to say. All that mixing of fantasy and reality to produce some sort of framework to build a reality in which a child can survive is essential in those early years. Literature most certainly plays a part and those authors and characters they create often form a very safe place in which disturbed minds/feelings can escape to for a while at least when overwhelmed.
I hope that you weren’t too upset by this, knowing how you have been affected too,❤ ❤ ❤
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You are the most wonderful friend to worry about me! ❤
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xxx ❤
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Once again, I am unable to comment aided with any personal insight into the ‘dark complexities’ of your piece, dear Marie, although I am marginally more suited to reflect on the quality of your words, on the writing, which itself is quite superb, and of a quality unusual in the blogosphere. Many congratulations!
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Dear Hariod, I hear what you’re saying! I will go away and dig deep into my little box of treasures and see if I can come up with something that you can comment on: I do so miss your, long and considered, wisdom-filled thought processes on my blog. 🙂 Well-meant humour aside, my little heart flutters whenever I see that you have visited and left any sort of comment for me. I regard it as a ‘gift’ – thank you so much.
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Oh dearest Marie.. my heart just cried when I read your words. How does a child make sense of a world that can be so cruel when one is subjected to abuse..
Oh If I could take those ‘Dark complexities’ away.. But as you write them out, those shadows are coming out of the closet and being exposed to the light..
Sending love and well wishes your way..
Hugs Sue xx ❤
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I shivered when I read your words, Sue, especially: “…away.. But as you write them out, those shadows are coming out of the closet and being exposed to the light.” – it felt as if a light had been switched on. Thank you so much for your kind words. xx
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You are welcome Marie… Allow them to come.. and be prepared to confront a few demons.. But they will be broken by the Light my friend.. ❤
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I know Sue … I know xxx ❤
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❤
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What a great way of describing that terrible place of knowing things aren’t as they should be yet those we look up to are telling us otherwise. And they often persist past our adulthood.
On days I’m feeling strong, it’s easy to see things as having contributed to the current goodness.
On fragile days, not at all so much…
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Childhood can be a very scary place for many of us – it feels as if a lot of pretty awful stuff is thrown our way when we are at our least powerful to deal with it. It’s amazing how we survive into adulthood. It can seem like a very cruel joke. Maybe as children, our ‘power’ lies in our creativity. Many of the most gifted/talented among us have suffered greatly – I truly believe that there is an indelible link there – the goodness that comes from that far outweighs the evil suffered. What after all is strength? Is it not fragility turned inside out? I’m waffling – sorry da-AL, but your insightful comment got me thinking … ❤
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Fragility as strength turned inside out— so lovely! – now you’ve got me thinking, Marie 😀
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Reblogged this on A Lawyer's Prayers.
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Pingback: “Alice, Milton and Oscar: Making Sense of It All” by Marie Williams | ANNA WALDHERR A Voice Reclaimed, Surviving Child Abuse
Thank you so much for the re-blog, Anna. I know you had technical difficulties with the re-blog, but I’m happy to see that you triumphed in the end!
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Reblogged this on Nothing Gilded, Nothing Gained-Period Drama on Paper at Middlemay Farm and commented:
Moving piece . . .
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Adrienne, I’m truly honoured that you have re-blogged this – thank you so much. Thank you also for your very kind comment.
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Wow Marie! I like this for two reasons. The writing is so clean and literary. I hope you understand what I mean; this is the only way I can describe it. Also, I think you very cleverly illustrate what all disappointments and disillusions feel like, especially when they’re forced upon you in childhood.
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I’m really pleased that you like this Kathy. What’s not to understand?! :)) Thank you so much for the compliments and your appreciation of the ‘literary’ aspects of this piece.
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Great post! I visited a elderly Psychologist, who uses art therapy.. he said it is a dying form and hoped others would continue..
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Thank you so much Mary Ann – your kind words are much appreciated.
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Dear Marie – today I am here to wish you a splendid birthday. I have not forgotten that you once hoped that I would write a poem for you on your birthday. I feel rusty these days in my writing. Besides, you write so beautifully yourself and it is equally enjoyable to find the community you have created here. There are recurring themes that I find in your beautiful writing and rather than write something new, I am reposting a poem I wrote last year which is my gift to you today on your birthday. The core of who we are throughout our lives is shaped in our early years and we can never escape that but we can use it to our advantage. I hope the message resonates with you. Have a beautiful day my dear!!💫🎈🎈🎉🎉💥💥❤️✨💫
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Dearest Chevvy – you beautiful soul – thank you so much for this lovely birthday surprise/message. Honestly, I’ve read and re-read it so many times both, because it is a splendid birthday message whilst at the same time telling me that you understand my writing AND offering hope. Wow!!!
I will go and read and my ‘gift’ – thank you!❤️❤️
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It’s my absolute pleasure Marie and you are welcome to share it. Hopefully it can only draw further blessings. Warmest Wishes. Chevvy
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… also Chevvy, can I share with you a ‘synchronicity’ – I know you like them as much as me. :)) I passed a sign in a shop window yesterday which read ‘Alice’s Attic ….recruiting now …..’ It caught my attention – had I not recently posted a piece containing those very words…???!!! haha
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Well then, ponder what the sign was trying to tell you.
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I took it as a sign that the Universe approved and supported me on my path …
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Well done. I liked the word play.
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Thank you Robert. Your approval is noted and appreciated!
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Really nice post! And you have a really nice blog going on! I have made sure to follow your blog to read more!
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Thank you so much Anjalisk96! It’s good to know that you enjoyed your visit and I look forward to seeing you again – the follow is much appreciated.
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You eloquently write poetry that encompasses past dark happenings, ones with which I relate.
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Thank you for your kind words. I think we have both moved on from ‘dark happenings’ leaving them firmly in the past where they belong.
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Unfortunately, I suffer with CPTSD, Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. The condition was created by long-term abuse and it seems that on occasion, some undesired by-products loom in to haunt. Yet, I have much to be thankful for now. My frown lines have been replaced by happy crinkles.
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I’m sorry to hear that. I have PTSD too and that can be so debilitating, so I understand what you are going through. I hope I didn’t seem to suggest that because those things are in the past, they are all forgotten about. They never really are, but in order to heal, it’s necessary to be positive as you so eloquently say on your blog. Happy crinkley faces – yes!!!!!!!! :)))
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I reblogged and shared your “Florence” on Fb, and Twitter. Thank you, as this one truly hit a cord.
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Thank you so much for the re-blog. I had a feeling it would strike a chord with you – oh that I wish it didn’t though – thank you again! Many good wishes to you!
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