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'Aha' moment, chances, choices, day, fight, games, life, magnificence, reflection, rules, spills and thrills, ups and downs
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There will come a day
When comatose you lay
And as you cogitate
No doubt you’ll say:
It was the right time
Whatever happened,
It happened when it should
No matter what you did
Those things you hid
They had to come to light
Such magnificence cannot be contained
And radiance fit to burst
Develops such a thirst
Which defies linear time
And must create the life you chose to live
The spills and thrills
The ups and downs
The times you chose
To throw the towel in
then changed your mind,
Re-entered the ring
Fought the fight
And took delight
Bloodied and bruised
To claim the life,
The life that was yours to choose
The rules you opted to make or break
The chances you chose to leave or take
The games you chose to win or lose
There will come a day
When comatose you lay
And on reflection; no doubt you’ll say
You did it your way!
~ Marie Williams – 2017
ComeFlywithme 
This is the view from the deathbed of a pedophile or narcissist. We are provided insight into the moral relevance which justifies any past depravity. The poet has used her own sensitivity and intuition to explore the empty landscape of the pedophile/narcissist’s interior universe.
There is no hint of repentance or even self-doubt on the boxer’s part, no thought for the impact of his actions on others. To the contrary, self-absorption governs to the end, and is key to an understanding of the boxer’s character. He would, in fact, welcome admiration and further opportunities to exercise his ego:
“Such magnificence cannot be contained
And radiance fit to burst
Develops such a thirst”
The life choices were clearly those of the boxer. The timing and the risks taken were part of the game, part of the enjoyment. We can picture him raising his gloves in triumph, after a bout. Congratulating himself on another triumph.
It might in different circumstances seem admirable that rules were broken. But this boxer’s “opponents” in the ring of his making were children — children beaten to a bloody pulp physically and emotionally, by someone more than twice their size.
There is no heroism in that, regardless of how the pedophile/narcissist may reframe the situation in his own mind. Whatever the boxer’s view of himself, we are revolted by him.
In a few short stanzas, Marie, you’ve given us a perceptive depiction of evil. The portrait of Dorian Grey is revealed. Kudos!
With love and admiration,
Anna ❤
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Thank you Anna. Your thoughts are always welcomed and appreciated. This has certainly resonated with you in a very strong way, and I understand why. When I wrote it, I wasn’t so much thinking about paedophiles and narcissists, but more along the lines of people in general who don’t see how their actions have affected others, and are unrepentant even to the end of their lives. And I suppose to a large extent, this piece can be interpreted by our own life experiences. On the other hand, there will be those who have not carried out such vile actions, but will see their lives in terms of how they chose to live it and will not feel apologetic about any aspect of it.
Your thoughts have certainly made me aware of how powerful writing can be and what strong reactions can be elicited.
With love and thanks for your considered and insightful thoughts, dear Anna ❤❤
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The poem is a fine illustration of the power of your writing, in particular, Marie. Its universality allows readers to see some aspect of their own experience reflected. I feel I gained real insight from the poem. Thank you.
Love,
A. ❤
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Thanks very much for the compliment Anna. Your wisdom and compassion are amply illustrated in your comments, and not least in your caring nature for those whose suffering can be picked up and magnified in a piece of writing. I am sure there will be those who will be touched in much the same way you were. I am grateful that you brought out this aspect which I had not immediately seen.
Love, Marie ❤
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I must think the night on this one. Comment later 😉 xoxo
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I look forward to your comment Bela, which I know will be worth the wait! :)oxo
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Haha – well. I have ‘been there,’ as you know – and you know only a small part of it. Yet at the same time, here’s what came (excerpt from someone calling themselves danceswithbourbons from this url: https://www.reddit.com/r/NarcissisticAbuse/comments/5ymrp9/when_things_fall_apart_pema_chodron/),
“I was driving myself insane craving answers that won’t come. The books of Buddhist Nun Pema Chodron have been helping me so very much. The reading list on this sub is great for learning the mechanics of who hurt us so horribly, but teachings that encourage us to look within ourselves and face the broken parts are just as important, I believe. I had to acknowledge that my suffering can only be imposed or ended by myself alone.
‘As human beings, not only do we seek resolution, but we also feel that we deserve resolution. However, not only do we not deserve resolution, we suffer from resolution. We don’t deserve resolution; we deserve something better than that. We deserve our birthright, which is the middle way, an open state of mind that can relax with paradox and ambiguity.’ ~ Pema Chodron
I recommend her books. I am no longer running from my pain and fear. I am no longer craving resolution from this broken woman.
‘The first noble truth of the Buddha is that when we feel suffering, it doesn’t mean that something is wrong. What a relief. Finally somebody told the truth. Suffering is part of life, and we don’t have to feel it’s happening because we personally made the wrong move. In reality, however, when we feel suffering, we think that something is wrong. As long as we’re addicted to hope, we feel that we can tone our experience down or liven it up or change it somehow, and we continue to suffer a lot.’
~ Pema Chodron
Her teachings may or may not be for you, but I’m finding peace in these ideas. I hope some of you will as well.”
And I couldn’t have said it better myself. I love Pema Chodron’s work and her work has been part of my own deeper healing.
On another note, well written, Marie – as always. Love your words! Big love ❤
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Thank you Bela for sharing your thoughts here and being so open. I am quite struck by the way this poem has been received and the emotions/reaction it has elicited. As I said above to Anna, I had no specific target, but it was about how I thought someone (anyone) might look back over the life they have lived and in reviewing it come to the conclusion that they had lived it the way they chose to live it.
Abuse and suffering seems to be key here and how it is viewed. So thank you for introducing me to ‘Pema Chodron’. And I do agree that as humans when faced with suffering we do ‘crave answers that won’t come’ and ‘we do seek resolution’.
Just leaving that aside for the moment, I woke one morning thinking the words: ‘There will come a day …’, and not knowing why, but the idea persisted and persisted and this is how I came up with this poem. Spookily enough, and I had not looked at this poem recently, until quite by accident it came up in my reader and I noticed how similar the title was and I wondered if subconsciously I had been channelling these thoughts of the Jamaican poet and activist Una Marson:
“There Will Come A Time”
“Each race that breathes the air of God’s fair world
Is so bound up within its little self,
So jealous for material wealth and power
That it forgets to look outside itself
Save when there is some prospect of rich gain;
Forgetful yet that each and every race
Is brother unto his, and in the heart
Of every human being excepting none,
There lies the selfsame love, the selfsame fear,
The selfsame craving for the best that is,
False pride and petty prejudice prevail
Where love and brotherhood should have full sway.”
— Excerpt from, “There Will Come a Time” a poem by prolific Jamaican writer and activist Una Marson.
And I wondered if somehow I was trying to say that how we live our lives affects each and every one of us. And that maybe we should be mindful of the way we choose to live our lives and to be aware of the suffering we may cause to others and vice versa. That it is not enough or satisfactory to live the lives we choose regardless of how others are affected because we are all one.
I’m not sure quite how I got here, Bela, but there must be a reason.:) Anyway, I hope it all makes some sort of sense! Thanks once again for your very kind words, your valuable contribution and your openness. Big love back to you, my friend❤
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Yes, Marie – thanks to you, I believe, I have read this lovely poem by Una Marson. And I wonder how many people, upon their deathbed, actually think, well, those were my choices? I think many, many people are so attached to their status as victim (to whatever – abuse is legit, but one can transcend, to a degree; but also to life’s circumstances). It is true we are all a bit subject to life, itself – which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. We learn we really cannot control anything except our own responses and thoughts – and even those thoughts can be daunting at times to rein in.
At any rate, always love chatting with you, dear woman – take good care and enjoy the rest of your weekend! ❤ ❤ ❤
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Hi Bela and Marie,
I agree with both of you and your respective quotes of the Buddhist nun Pema Chodron and the Jamaican writer and activist Una Marson. I would like to add and advocate that in our pondering on existential matters and metaphysical issues, we should sometimes attempt to enlarge our purviews and extend our awareness, resolution and compassion to (include) other lifeforms and the environment, so that we can be cogent, holistic consilient on the universal, global and even planetary perspectives. After all, we are connected in various ways not just to other human beings but also to other beings and aspects of Mother Nature.
Like both of you who have left a quote in your respective comments, I would also like to leave a quote here by the late Carl Sagan. However, the length of the quote happens to be far longer than those of Pema Chodron and Una Marson. Therefore, I would like to invite you to read the quote in my post published at https://soundeagle.wordpress.com/2013/04/25/soundeagle-in-earth-day/
The said quote is the very last one in the post containing a special compilation of quotes. 🙂
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Thanks SoundEagle – your contribution to this broad subject is always welcome and appreciated and I will take a look very soon.:)
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Marie, these comments have been quite interesting. I love the poem, and it reminds me of how talented you are each and every time I read your words. I don’t agree with the entire message, but I do understand what you’re saying. I think we each affect and impact one another no matter if we consider these things or not. I also believe that the more we consider how our actions will impact others, the less we tend to do to fulfill our own wants/needs/desires. So, I suppose, it seems there’s a fine line with all of it. Thanks again for such creativity 😉
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Thanks for the compliment Kathy – I really appreciate that and it’s so encouraging. I absolutely agree with you about how we impact one another no matter whether we are considering of each other or not – I’m hoping I understand you, but please do feel free to clarify if I’m not. Of course the poem is open to interpretation as most poetry is I think. I don’t think I was trying to be judgemental about people not living the lives they wanted to, because they consider too much the impact of their actions on others and as a result are not able to live fulfilling lives – so just want to be clear about that in case I came across that way. I think as I got comments in, I began to tailor my responses as I begun to understand how others received the poem.
And I agree that it is important to live fulfilling lives in which our wants/needs/desires are catered for, so I agree that there is a fine balance between how much we consider other’s feelings above our own . My biggest concern here is that we are not deliberately cruel to others. But if our actions lead to unintentional suffering by others then we can at least talk about it. Thanks again for sharing your thoughts Kathy and your invaluable contribution here. 🙂
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Aha! Yes. And you know great poetry prompts discussion 😉
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Undeniably so! :))
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Love this! I hope I can say that at the end.
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Aww thank you Michele! I’m happy that you are able to take something positive from this. 🙂
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It is interesting how others have interpreted this, Marie. On first and subsequent readings, I came to the notion that it was about the futility of regret. I’ve always been puzzled when people say (not purely as an understandable turn of phrase) ‘I really wish I had . . .’ Yes, we do seemingly have conscious choices as individuals, and yet whatever action is chosen is conditioned by circumstance and ten thousand unknown factors from the past. Really, the apparent choice we made was the only choice we could have made given those circumstances. A chap called Benjamin Libet did some interesting experiments back in the 70s about the timing of conscious actions in the short-term, demonstrating that our decision-making is largely a post-hoc affair, an illusion. Anyway, your craft with words is quite exemplary here, as always. Many congratulations and all best wishes, Hariod.
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Hello Hariod! Thank you so much for adding your voice here and giving your interpretation. I agree with you that there is evidence here to support the notion of the ‘futility of regret’. And I also agree that our actions are conditioned ‘by circumstance’ and ‘unknown factors from the past’. However we choose to live our lives there will always be constraints – even if we live on a desert island somewhere. In the real world we are all interconnected in some way, and our actions nearly always have consequences which might affect others. For example, it might be someone’s dream to play the drums, practicing regularly and loudly at every opportunity and that might be very satisfying and fulfilling for them, but their neighbours might not find their lifestyle choice acceptable. So hopefully, they find other ways of pursuing their dream. If at the end of your life you can say that you have lived a life without regrets, despite all that you have experienced in terms of highs and lows, joys and sadness etc, then I would say that is a life well-lived.
Hariod, you are so generously complimentary about my writing – so encouraging and enormously appreciated – thank you! Best wishes to you too! :)❤
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Marie… you amazing soul… Your words are pure magic young lady :* .. I needed this 🙂
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Thank you Neal – you know your comments mean a lot to me. So happy that this resonated with you in a good way. Big hugs to you … 🙂
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Love it – very clever writing. Well done ( again!) As you know one I have on my pin board at work – touched it 2 days ago and smiled as it happens and now this, which I am going to send to a friend of mine whose Mum has just died. Go on – get out there and spread your (writing) word. Its so good. You have a real talent….
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Dear Jackie, you are so good for my heart. Thank you so much for the compliments – so lovely and encouraging and supportive! I love that this one resonated with you and I really hope that it helps your friend at this difficult time – it really is meant to be positive.
Where have you been dear one? I keep checking your blog for new posts …:)oxo
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I think you hit the spot a lot with your poems and as you know – I don’t ” brown nose”. they are great and very thought provoking. I have been quite busy with work and also seem to have most my mojo re writing ( if I ever had any of course) but now seem to be back in the fold and going for it
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I would so like “brown nose” to be a racist comment – so that I could have a good rant about it. hahhahahahah
Sorry to hear about your mojo, but I’m sure it was just resting and I hope to see a new post from you soon!
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Anyway you could always email me to keep in touch 🙂
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I think I did email you once when you went awol a few months back and I never heard a peep out of you! 🙂 Actually, it might not have been an email – I think I left a message on your most recent post at the time – but you may not have seen it. Anyway … email suggestion noted! We used to have such good laughs back in the day … ❤
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That made me roar. I have missed you! of course I shouldn’t have said ” brown nose” but ” coloured nose” eh?? Only you would be allowed to get away with that remark, eh., Hairdo???
Of course you could prove now, beyond a doubt that I see you as a person and not an item for sorting in the laundry basket. Black; white; coloured.
I am off to see Arsenal this weekend.
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You are on the ball here aren’t you?! hahahaha How about “non-specific identity nose”? That is a bit of a mouthful though …
Speaking of “brown noses”, I didn’t know you were an Arsenal fan (get it?) Hope you have a great time, and hope they win. I’m not into footy myself, but what the hell?! 🙂
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Nor am I so I traded it for Phantom of the Opera after
yes, I get it – ARSE – nal…
and you appear to be on the ball as well – speaking of footie.
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Well what can I say? Great minds think alike eh? I’m always on the ball … lol
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I thought you must have posted again Marie when I saw your like 🙂 Lovely to see you have..
And This is an excellent poem. Indeed we often doubt our choices, in doing the right thing and speaking our speak, Telling our truth. There is often no good time. The right time presents itself when it feels right to do so
This life is wrought with struggles, as our minds play out their emotions as we are taken through the wringer. Like any boxing match, we can dodge our shadows throwing punches in the air.. Hurting only ourselves..
I found once those shadows were exposed, it allowed us to see, yes, we no longer need to fight the invisible foe,
Throwing in the towel is not being defeated. Far from it.. It says we are ready to stop the anger and aggression to one’s foes who have brought harm and deep wounds of hurt that we have carried for such a long time..
No throwing in the towel is saying I no longer need to fight you, hold guilt, shame, or even anger.
It is showing us we can walk away, forgive the unforgivable.. and learn to step inside our own shadow to love and nurture our broken soul back to wholeness.
And the journey is not an easy one.. far from it.. But when you do that.. We have Won our battle..
Love and Blessings Marie.. Sending Hugs.. Love and Continued thoughts your way
Sue ❤
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Dear Sue, I had a little think about your interpretation before responding straight away hence the delay in getting back. I think you make an excellent point about choices (interestingly, did you read Hariod’s comment about ‘choices’?) and I would agree with you that the right time presents itself when it feels right to do so. I also like what you had to say about the ‘boxing’ analogy as regards our emotions and fighting the ‘invisible foe’ – oftentimes we hurt ourselves through our own misguided thoughts. I also agree that ‘throwing in the towel’ is not necessarily a bad or cowardly way out: forgiveness can be powerfully healing.
You do raise some important points and life lessons on how to fight the fight (so to speak) of life, and come out as a champion! No doubt, life is a struggle for everyone and perhaps in varying degrees, and it’s easy to focus on how badly we are doing rather than how amazing this experience can be and what a difference we can make to each other’s lives through well-intentioned choices.
As always, Sue, I love your insightful thoughts and thanks for sharing.❤❤
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Happy you saw deep into my comment dear Marie.. It has taken me a life time to learn to throw in the towel. And see we only create our own invisible shadows that we carry within our selves. Learning to step out of ourselves, and ‘See’ things from a different perspective can be life changing. 🙂 And many thanks for your lovely response 🙂
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Thats a really nice post!
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Thank you so much Anjalisk96!
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You are welcome!Do drop by my blog as well! All suggestions are welcome!
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It’s a pleasure and I promise I’ll be over soon!:)
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Jesus take the wheel!
GIRL!!!!!!
This is super deep!
This line: “Which defies linear time” resonates with me as I have come to learn that there is no such thing as “linear time.” It’s an illusion of sorts. We will learn more about this as we lay ‘comatose.’
I know that I have said this before but I understand why you must take your time to drop such beautiful works of art. Clearly, it takes a great deal of serious and focused contemplation.
Brava!
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Aww thank you Lady G! I love how you have zoomed right into the heart of the matter. Yes!!! about “linear time” and ‘illusion’. And when we lay ‘comatose’, this is when we will learn more about what ‘life’ is all about, we will be clearer about our soul’s journey here – I hope!!
Thank you for the lovely compliments – you’re so kind and I really appreciate them.
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I so agree with your thoughts about the revelation of our soul’s journey…so beautifully expressed; both in your poetry and in this comment.
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❤ ❤
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Yes! And I truly was meant to read this, Marie 😁
Sweet reminders along the way…to live in the exact moment we are in…to make choices and realize our power…our truth!
Sweet blessings to You, friend. Thanks for touching my heart today 💜
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Thank you for reading Lorrie and so happy that it chimed with you. I know you wrote yours in September, but it seems as if we were both meant to read each other’s post so that we both came away with something – just to show how we are ALL connected. Blessings back dear Lorrie. 💜 💜
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Wow…. Your words have some magic… This post was awesome.
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Thank you Shreyasukrity … thanks so much for those lovely compliments … so appreciated!
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Excellently written poem.
Its message of continuing to fight on through adversity reminds me of the final stanza of the Simon and Garfunkel song The Boxer:
In the corner stands a boxer
and a fighter by his trade
and he carries the reminder of every glove 🥊
that laid him down and cut him
‘Till he cried out in his anger and his shame
“I am leaving! I am leaving!”
But the fighter still remains.
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Chris, thank you so much for your kind words and also for sharing this stanza with me, which I can see echoes the message in my poem. I don’t think I remember hearing the whole song, so this has prompted me to check it out.
Thanks again!:)
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You’re welcome. 🙂
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