Soul Lessons

Tags

forgiveness, freedom, healing, letting go, life lessons, pardon, peace, prose poetry, rules, school of life, self-knowledge, trials

“When hate has legislated, love is an act of rebellion”
Source: Origin South African, author unknown

This school is different to other schools that I have ever known. The curriculum is somewhat hazy and is nowhere written down. I’m expected to turn up each day with a smile upon my face, my shoes polished and my laces not undone. My uniform is whatever I choose to wear that day and I cannot say that it is one that others green of eye will be wearing the very next day. So come what may, some unseen force has planned that I should stay in school until all the lessons that I need to learn are well and truly learned.

There are no classrooms in this school and the rules are made up as I go along, they come down heavily upon me even though I feel I’ve done no wrong. No text books grace the library walls however hard I look, and if I enquire about things of which I’m unsure, the advice I’m given arbitrarily is go and look it up! Through many trials I have come. So many doors shut in my face. I am sometimes told by the principal to go at my own pace. And off she walks heels clicking on the floor, with a smirk upon her face, as if to say, my goodness me, will that child never learn.

Today’s lesson is the hardest I have ever had to learn, and still I know that even though to memory I have committed it, tomorrow when I’m asked what are the basic principles of the act of letting go, my already creased brow will furrow and I will stumble as if I didn’t know. But when alone, with no pressure from those who know, I will say quietly to myself:

Forgiveness does not mean that the other person has not really done anything wrong.
Forgiveness does not mean that you have to forget.
What forgiveness means is that you choose to pardon the wrong.
Forgiveness means that your soul is free no longer chained and restrained.
Forgiveness means that you are stronger for the lesson has been learned.

The school bell tolls and I no longer ask for whom.

~ MEW 2016

Secrets

Tags

awareness, child abuse, communication, healing, hurt, metaphor, pain, peace, poem, poetry, self-knowledge, therapy

Are secrets really secrets?  How long can a secret remain a secret?  Doesn’t everything come to light at some point?

 

Secrets

Long before I knew my mind, you took away my right to know my mind, and in so doing took the very essence of me, that part of me which struggles now to know who I am; the real me.  You came and with your honeyed words drew me into a maelstrom of deceit.  I felt confused, but could not fight you because you were bigger than me in every sense of the word.  Physically, you were bigger.  Mentally you were bigger.  Emotionally you were bigger.  You were simply too big for me and I was too small.  What did you see that day you came to me, smiling, with evil in your heart, evil on your mind, evil guiding your hands?

You believed your secret was safe with me.  But you could not be more wrong.  Oh how you gloried in your misdeeds and how you luxuriated in the wrongs of someone with a secret.  You laughed mockingly at the small soul who kept your secret safe within her heart, never fearing that she could one day part with the sorrow that secret held for her.  That secret which tore her dreams to shreds, prevented the seeds of miracles to unfold.  The secret which stopped her from being bold and taking hold of all that was rightfully hers.

Ah but time has passed and with that passing has come the desire to cast aside the mire in which she passed her time, for she could not call it living.  It was a poor substitute.  The secret explodes and each dirty shard is tossed into the air, it is there for all to see.  You seek to deny it, you question the reliability and demand evidence to support the claim. Surely you are not the one to blame?

Your secret was not safe with me.

~MEW 

 

 

Stronger

Tags

communication, harmony, healing, hurt, inspiration, journey, love, metaphor, Oprah Winfrey, peace, power, prose poetry, self-knowledge, therapy, tranquility

Yesterday I started to read Oprah Winfrey’s “What I Know for Sure”, and I found it “Bible-like”. It’s a good book to keep close by to refer to on life’s journey. It is full of truth, authenticity, guidance, self-love, love for others and wisdom.

The cover of the book is beige and green and it has an oak tree on it. The oak tree is a symbol for me of faithfulness and strength. Its sturdy trunk is rooted and unshakeable, and a place where I can rest my body if and when I need to. It wont collapse with my weight. It will stand firm and hold me up. Its girth will give me a sense of stability – something like when you are a small child and you run to your mother and put your arms around her. Your arms never quite reach to clasp, but that solidity and warmth, comfort and reassure you.

I am feeling fine today. I meditated for a while. I am getting stronger each day. I feel loved and wanted and special. Not knowing what the future will bring for me does not scare me. I am grateful for my breath, my body and my ability to write. These gifts are precious. They are worth more than gold, but I will not lock them away in a vault of fear, for fear that they will be stolen from me. I will display them and trust that they will stay. I will take these gifts, treasure them and hold fast to them.

~ MEW

Serenity

Tags

bench, calmness, meditation, nature, peace, plants, serenity, tranquility

There is nothing like nature to soothe the mind! That bench is so inviting …

Saying “Sorry” Isn’t Enough

Tags

abuse, awareness, blogging, child abuse, communication, compassion, control, cruelty, forgiveness, peace, season of good will

Stephen D Jennings post on “Saying Sorry is not Enough”

I have reblogged this post because it resonates with my “about” page. I am passionate about spreading the word that violence can never be the answer. It is the season of goodwill, and perhaps at this time more than any other time, we need to know that there many people who will not have a good time because they have a violent partner, parent etc. Rage and violence flares up (ironically) at this “peaceful” time. Sitting here on my pc is not going to solve the issue, but perhaps blogging about it will bring this to our awareness and if one violent person seeks help, I would feel my message is getting through. Forget about the present buying, the consumption of alcohol, the merrymaking for a moment and focus instead on the best gift of all – peace in our homes and our lives. Peace to all at this time and Season’s Greetings.

Damaged People

Tags

blogging, cruelty, damaged, healing, imagery, metaphor, pain, peace, poetry, tranquility, trauma

Aren’t we all damaged in some way or another?  We all have baggage.  Not one of us can go through life completely unscathed.  Sometimes we do not know what to do with our pain: we hide it, we disguise it, we pretend it didn’t happen.  But no matter how much we try to leave it behind it follows us, manifesting itself in anger, depression, withdrawal.  Let’s care for our damaged brothers and sisters in whatever way we can by recognising their pain and offering love and understanding.

Damaged People

“Damaged people are dangerous”*
Are they really, I reflect
Can this be so, how do you know?
On this bright morning in a country far away
Such sorrow permeates my soul
Does that make me dangerous to know?

A morning of tears, remembered fears
Withering looks from the past
Cut the heart, tear me apart
Pain racked soul heaves my body
Causing me to tremble and shudder

Cruel words spoken with loathing
With no care for the innocent soul
Who listens carefully
And believes this to be truly
The way things could be

No! Damaged people are not dangerous
That simply is a fallacy
And one to be
Disregarded and buried
With past memories in a hurried
And impermeable coffin

Damaged people are to be loved
Taken to your bosom
Allowed to rest there
To be provided with a shady cove
A haven of peace and tranquility

Spoken to as if re-born
Gentle whispers in their ear
Reassuring them there’s no need to fear
That which hurt and broke them
Can no longer stoke the fires of pain

The embers glow now
Softly speaking of
The peace within
That poker no longer
Rakes the healing scars
It is powerless
My tortured soul’s at rest.

*Ouote from the film Damaged

© Marie Williams April 2009

The Mathematics of Power

Tags

communication, control, harmony, healing, mathematics, peace, poetry, power

 

I’m sure we all have people in our lives who exert/have exerted a certain amount of power over our lives.  When this happens we feel that we have no power.  We are subject to their whims and manipulative tendencies.  As children we are unable to fight back, to stand strong, to exert the power which is very much an intrinsic part of our nature.  Power does not have to be a nasty word although it can seem this way when we are the victims of another person’s control.  Those of us in powerful positions e.g parent and child, should use that power wisely.  Do not use that power violently, spitefully, mockingly, cruelly.  Take power over the power you have and be kind, thoughtful, compassionate, understanding and above all, realise that taking power and control is everyone’s right.

 

The Mathematics of Power

Power plus control equals pain

Power minus control equals harmony and strength

Power plus control plus pain equals fear

Power divided by two

Gives me and you

The chance to enhance

A balanced relationship

 

Control decides who takes the lion’s share

It becomes the snare

In which the other is trapped

I didn’t want that for you and me

But sadly that became my reality

You had the power; I supplied the fear

I held you dear; you did not!

 

Now we are so much older

I could not do the maths then

Children often struggle

Literally and physically

Now, I have the power

Power minus control

Equals harmony and strength!

Copyright  Marie Williams – July 2009

My Lighthouse Waits for Me

Tags

analogy, doubts, fears, guiding light, help, inspire, journey, lighthouse, peace, raft, safety, talking therapy, therapy, whisper

Emotions are such powerful feelings. Anger, sadness, joy – we all feel these at some point in our lives. How do we cope with overwhelming sadness? Should we strive to feel joyful all the time? I really don’t know the answer to these questions, but I know there is an inner well of support which can be called on and this can take the form of words. It is amazing how words strung together can lift you. Words can come from within and without (listening to others or simply reading what they have to say). My Lighthouse Waits for Me does exactly this for me:

MY LIGHTHOUSE WAITS FOR ME

Today we talked of floating in the sea
Of doubts and fears, and misery
We talked of love and peace and self
Together we made a pact to delve

Into how the future looked for me
And what I gained or lost from therapy
And how I felt that it would be
Where was I now in terms of safety?

My analogy came back deeply profound
Floating purposefully in the sea,
Clinging to my raft, but not desperately
From where I sat, I glimpsed the shore

She smiled and nodded thoughtfully
And with genius it seemed to me
Suggested with a twinkle in her eye
“Let’s aim to build a lighthouse for you to see”

“That would make your journey so much more
An easier passage for you to bear”
I brightened visibly at her analogy
So glad we were sailing in the same boat!

So there my lighthouse stands true and proud
Whispering silently it beckons me on
“Don’t give up now”, it says to me
“I’m here for you, your guiding light”

“Too long you’ve floated aimlessly,
In a rough and stormy sea,
Just keep your eyes focused on me
I represent peace and tranquillity
In your life”.

© Copyright – Marie Williams – July 2009
My Lighthouse Waits for Me