Tags
boys, fear, frustration, games, houses, innocence, menace, metaphor, nothing happened, playing, speaking up, summer day., what if
Empty Houses
Why do some memories make more of an impact than others? Do empty houses make more noise and if they do, how do the noises sound to you? Are they kind, loving and inviting or are they the exact opposite and do they make you feel lost, alone and fearful?
I remember as a child of about 11 or 12 years old an incident which pops into my mind regularly even though it happened many years ago and if truth be told it was nothing major. By that I mean that nothing actually happened and that was what was so fascinating about it: nothing happened. Yet that nothing happening is a source of intrigue for me.
It was a summer’s day. It was around 4:00pm and it was a very ordinary day. School was over for the day. I had changed out of my school uniform and into a skirt and a blouse. The skirt was blue and was several inches above my knee and the blouse was loose and white. I was fashionably dressed for the time: mini-skirts were ‘in’ and although it wasn’t technically a ‘mini-skirt’, I had made it so by rolling it up several times so that there was a thick belt of material around my waist. But you couldn’t see that, because my long blouse hid it.
On arriving home from school, my father was in the kitchen cooking the evening meal. He found he had run out of an ingredient and asked me to go to the corner shop to get it. I willingly obliged. I was at the age where I wanted to show off my newly-improvised mini-skirt and this was the perfect opportunity to do so. I was so innocent.
The corner shop was only a few minutes away from home and to get there I had to walk down a street two streets away from where I lived. The street in question had houses which were mostly inhabited, but at the top of the road were about three or four empty houses. They were rather dilapidated and the windows were broken and I guess it wouldn’t take much brute force to enter any of them through the front door if you were so inclined.
As I turned the corner into (let’s call it) Kempton Road, there were a group of eight to ten boys playing. They were aged between 10 to say, 15 or 16. They usually collected there of an evening to play football or cricket depending on a whim. I had seen them there so often that they posed no threat and had many times walked by them to get to the corner shop. If they weren’t playing games, they would sit on the walls of the empty houses, in smaller groups chatting and laughing amongst themselves.
This particular day as I turned the corner they were in the middle of the road, talking loudly and playing. One of the boys called me over. I did not go. I kept walking as if I had not heard them and I wasn’t afraid or disturbed in any way. However, this same boy called again and again, and probably frustrated by his inability to get my attention and not wanting to look small in front of his playmates, he ran towards me and grabbed my arm. I was now afraid. Several others came to his aid and all I could see were arms pulling at my arms and clothing and dragging me towards the empty houses at the top of the street.
I struggled but I could see that I did not stand a chance. Whatever was in store for me was going to happen whether or not I tried to defend myself. I resigned myself to my fate, whatever that was going to be.
‘Let her go!’ A voice called out. Blindly I looked on. I could not see who had called out.
‘I said, let her go!’ The voice said again even more forcefully and with authority.
The boy who had grabbed me first released me first, followed quickly by the others who had followed his lead.
I took the opportunity to walk as fast as I could away from them and never walked down that road with the empty houses again on my own. To this day, I can’t remember what the young man who was part of the group looked like and blind with fear, I don’t think it would have registered anyway.
But all I know is that I’m thankful to him. Nothing happened because he spoke up. And because empty houses cannot speak I do not know what their story would have been had he not spoken up for me that day.
~ Marie Williams – 2017
I had a similar ‘narrow escape’ early one evening walking from the train station when a gang of Hells Angels accosted me … one spoke up and they let me go!
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Thank you for sharing Ginger. I’m not sure how that ‘one voice’ has such power over the ‘pack’, but I’m beyond thankful that it did for you and for me. It’s funny though that even though we both had a narrow escape and we came to no harm, the horror of what might have happened impacts you almost as much as if it had. I suppose the mind still registers it as a trauma??
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I honestly hadn’t thought about it until your story reminded me! Did tell my father and bought a motor scooter after that so that I could ride from a to b rather than take trains.
For me it clearly indicates that it is other men, peers, that need to step up and stop domestic violence and rape episodes. If men are that way inclined I doubt they would ever listen to a woman, or ‘no’, but peer pressure seems the only solution!
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It’s funny how things trigger you! I nearly didn’t post that because I thought it was such a non-story, because only I knew the impact it had on me. But the fact that you responded makes it worthwhile and to see how similar our experiences were. Clearly the incident motivated you to take care of yourself in future by making sure you didn’t travel on trains in case it happened again. And yes, I wholeheartedly agree about men stepping up and speaking/acting against domestic violence/rape because they clearly ‘listen’ to other men as they did in our situation. Thank you so much for commenting because I think this is really important and the case you make is a very good one – which I had not thought of – well said!
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I’m always looking for solutions, and there are triggers so I was meant to read your post.
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I was meant to write it (the idea kept wiggling away in my mind, and I had no idea why!), and you were meant to read it – this is obviously more than just coincidence! 🙂
A good friend and I were talking about the size of readership once and she said, if only ‘one’ person read a post and they got something from it, then her work will have been done.(I’m paraphrasing here!):)
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That’s what I say on my blog … one person at a time! Now we just have to get men to read about this worthy solution?
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A resounding ‘Yes!!!’ Let’s hope at least one man reads this! That’s all it takes …
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Exactly!
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This story made the hair on the back of my neck stand on end. Clearly, you had a very narrow escape. Thank God that boy spoke out! How important a single voice can be.
Your image of the empty house is so powerful. We project onto it our own experiences, as we would onto a blank screen. A house, like a life, can be filled with happiness or with sorrow. Empty, it represents, in a way, the moment before a choice is made — whether for good or evil. This time good won out. ❤
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Beautifully said, Anna. I may never meet that boy again, so this is my way of thanking him publicly. O that he’s a blogger and reads this and sees how much his voice impacted my safety and peace of mind that day and left a lasting memory of hope and faith in the goodness of people.
” A house, like a life, can be filled with happiness or with sorrow. Empty, it represents, in a way, the moment before a choice is made — whether for good or evil. This time good won out”. – Superb point! ❤
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I read both the story and the following comments not once, but many times over. It seems a girl or a woman is not safe in any part of the world – developed or undeveloped. Even a child is not safe. Strangely, women seem to be safe in primitive societies. It needs no social scientist to find the reason. In ‘civilized’ societies, sex is taboo and the male thinks only of the taboo subject 24×7. Porn literature is sold at a premium. In a primitive society sex is not looked down upon and hence it has no sanctity and has not accumulated any glamour. For your information, I’m a male.
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Thank you Nathaswami. Your comment is much appreciated and your points on why you feel that women are safer in primitive societies as opposed to ‘civilized’ ones. I have a feeling you may be on to something there. I think that when certain topics are treated as ‘taboo’ this leaves us open to all sorts of evil/wrong-doing. Those who are that way inclined will always use this as a way to carry out misdeeds hidden by the veil of secrecy. A spirit of openness is required for us (as a race) to overcome this.
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I thank you for spending time to appreciate my comment.
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You are most welcome Nathaswami.
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Beautifully written, Marie, with such evocative imagery in the empty house analogy to memory and also the troubling experience you describe. It seems that as we age, we can increasingly look back and recognise those pivotal moments when things could have gone one way or the other, that they then rested in a finely balanced and as yet undetermined state. Now and again, I find there to be an intuited sense of whether to trust or to back off, and I really don’t know where that originates. What I do know is that I trust in it, itself, and that it pays me to listen to that quiet little voice in the back of my head (a feeling precedes that), and not let the conscious and centre-stage mind make the decision — I think it’s sometimes less reliable than instinct. Anyway, as I said, a beautifully written piece, rich in resonance for many too, I strongly suspect.
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Hariod, as always your insightful comments and eloquence are much appreciated here. Thank you so much for the compliment about my writing, which coming from you, is high praise indeed.❤
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Wow, that gave me chills. I had a similar experience with some eunuchs. Still haunts me to the core.
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Thanks for your comment Neal. I am sorry to hear about your experience. It seems that there are many of us who have experienced this, but I hope that we are not defined by it and can move on to a place of safety in our minds.
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Yeah yeah, why fear when Neal is near 😉
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I had a similar experience, which reading your story helped me recall. A group of boys followed me home one day, taunting me about a story I told on the playground: I had taken a dodgeball and put it under my dress and said I was pregnant. (Who knows why I did this or why kids do anything – I must have been 8-10 yrs of age.) They wanted me to show them where I placed the ball, to raise my dress to show them my belly. All I remember is the fear that began to creep into my stomach, that warning sign that I had had before, signaling danger. In this case, it was my sharp wit that saved me; I made up some story which diffiused the situation. I remember running home after that, feeling more fear than I’d ever experienced (and I knew fear). From then on, I was Very careful about joking around about anything until I was much older. Scary stuff and glad that boy advocated for you.
Thanks for your kind comments on my blog, and I, too am glad to be connected! Aloha, Marie.
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Bela, my heart was in my mouth reading your story and I’m so grateful to you for sharing it here. My goodness, it was so insightful and quick thinking of you at that tender age to come up with a story which diffused the situation. Thankfully, you are safe and well now and that can never happen again. But as you say, who knows why little children make up fantastic stories. It’s probably all part and parcel of growing up and nothing more sinister than that.
It is good to have this connection and I hope this long continues! Aloha, Bela! 🙂
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Great to ‘meet’ you, Marie! I don’t know how I discovered you out there – must have been through Hariod somehow – but anyway, so glad I did 🙂
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Yes I have a feeling Hariod might be responsible for our connection! LOL Anyhow, however it came about, I’m equally glad too. And Hariod is such a dear heart too! 🙂 🌹
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He’s a marvel. Truly.
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Isn’t he just?!!! I’ve met so many amazing people (you included!) on his site too. 🙂
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🙏🏽 😘
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Aww 😀
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Hi Marie,
Thank the Lord,for watching out for you. I am glad you have a story of hope where others may not have.
Thank you,
Gary
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Hi Gary, thank you so much for your care and concern. My guardian angel was definitely there protecting me that day or my story would’ve been a very different one. Thank you for commenting and stay blessed, Marie
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Wow, thank God you were able to avoid that situation!
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Thank you J L Hunt. It’s good to meet you and yes thank God!
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Thank goodness for that boy who shouted up Marie.. That was so very descriptively told Marie and yes, that empty house could have indeed had another tale to tell.. Thankfully it didn’t
Its amazing what memories surface. That we still recall and bring back from our childhood.
I remember walking back from the shops in our village.. I had about half a mile to walk down what was called the Avenue.. a main road long and straight with moving traffic that would speed along .. I was on my way back with some shopping.. I must have been 10 at the time.. As I had not left the Junior School in the village then..
When a car stopped on my side in front of me and waited until I got level.. He leaned across and said get in, I will take you to your Mum, I am a friend of hers and drop you off..
I knew everyone in the village.. And we had all been warned as children never to talk to strangers.. Straight away a six sense kicked in and told me to go backwards not in front of the car..
I just said Im already home.. and crossed the road to the other side I ran to my friends house who lived nearer and told her mum.. She ran out but the car had driven off..
That was in the days before so many horrendous things were in the news..
To this day I still can see the face of him..
My friends mum reported it to the local Bobby.. ( policemen) as we then had a village policeman..
And warnings were issued to parents at school times to be careful..
See what you own memory did Marie..?? it evoked my own..
Love and warm hugs my friend
And thank you for sharing the empty house ..
Love Sue ❤ xxxx
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So sorry Sue that it has taken a while to reply, but I’ve been busy moving house. Thank you so much for sharing your experience here. I’m so happy that that innocent little girl came to no harm. How canny and quick thinking of you to act so wisely in the light of what was happening and what could’ve happened. Just hearing your story made me shiver even though it happened so long ago. You never really forget something like that because the outcome could have been so different. And although you came to no harm the feelings of ‘what if’ still linger in your memory.
Love and warm hugs back dear friend. Stay safe and blessed! xxx
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Yes It wasn’t until later in my life that I saw an image of a man.. Who was in and around the areas where I then lived and could easily have been passing through our village at that time.. As it was a main route to Manchester..
It was the eyes I never forgot.. Chills I still have.. and I still wonder if it could have been this person.. I can not say, as a child memories play tricks..
But I so thank those intuitive sixth senses.. Some one was looking after me that day for sure.. A link to the case is here
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moors_murders
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I too get chills from you recounting it. My goodness! I dread to think what might have happened had you not been ‘protected’ that day. That link makes chilling reading.
Blessings and hugs, Sue.💞
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xxx ❤
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PS.. I hope your move went well, and never worry about ever being late in replying… xxx
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Yes the move went very well thanks, Sue. 💞
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Wonderful xx
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As always – woooonderful! So chock full of stuff about when we were kids, navigating everything about us within the world – & am especially grateful for reminder of how we’re lucky for the times when it doesn’t take much for one person to create a lot of good 🙂
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Thanks so much da AL, your kind comments as always are so appreciated. I totally agree that it’s times like this that we are reminded that there are a lot of good people out there even though we have a tendency to focus more on all that is going wrong in the world.:)
Sorry it’s taken a while to reply but I’ve been busy with a house move and all that that entails!
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hope you’ve had lots of helping hands & that all went & is going smoothly for you
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Thanks da AL – yes, lots of helping hands! 🙂 I’m slowly unwinding and just appreciating my lovely new home. I hope all is well with you.:) ❤
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ah – saw this comment after the one you wrote later – so glad all well. am happy & good – we’re having lots of great weather here & my loved ones & me are well. so sorry about probs in London. hope none of yours hurt. fingers cross, as am assuming you would have written about it if they had.
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Yes thank you for asking da AL, we are fine and all is well.💞
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thank goodness 🙂
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Oh wow Marie! Thank God that good sense prevailed with that boy. You have told a story that so many women can relate to.
I’ve had similar experiences but not with more than one guy. In all cases “nothing happened” and I was able to get away by the skin off my teeth. But M’Lady you and I both know that something did happen… and that something was a loss of innocence….a rerouting of pathways, literally and figuratively.
Thank you for sharing this one. Kisses to you!
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Sorry that it has taken me a while to respond Lady G, but I have been busy moving house.
Yes, thank God that the situation did not turn into something even worse than it already was. And yes, although the worst didn’t happen, the fact that it nearly did, leaves you feeling very vulnerable and wary.
Kisses back to you dear one!
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What a brave story to tell. I’ve been through a similar situation at the hands of two men abroad where something worse could have happened. Had my boyfriend not stepped in, I really believe that I wouldn’t have survived the attack. Since then I had many close calls, living and working in dangerous countries. Thank god for divine intervention. At the same time, any type of powerlessness that’s bestowed on you changes who you are.
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Thank you elliebleu. It is only by divine intervention that we are here today telling our stories as you so rightly say. And of course we are changed even though ‘nothing happened’ – what didn’t happen is as important as what could have happened, of that I’m sure. Also it is so important to applaud those who intervene to protect in such situations.
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Wow, that was a terrifying and powerful story. I am so glad that you were ok, although I imagine quite, profoundly changed as well. Thank you for sharing that story, I don’t think I will forget it anytime soon!
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Thank you so much for your comment and kind thoughts. They are much appreciated! ❤️
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Hi Marie,
This could have ended badly, thankfully it did not. I am sure that things like this happen frequently. It’s too bad people just can’t respect each others rights and space.
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It’s good to see you here again Kathleen. Thanks for your comment and yes, it could’ve been a very different story – but thank goodness good triumphed over evil here.
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Hi Marie.. Just checking in on you .. Hope all is well with you my friend..
Have a Beautiful weekend and Happy Beltane.. May is already upon us.. Enjoy my friend.. 🙂 💐💖
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Dear Sue, how lovely of you to be thinking of me! All is well with me – just getting over a 3-week cold – seems to have been going on forever!
Of course I had to look up ‘Beltane’ – I had not heard that word before.:) I hope all is well with you and your garden (smile) and I wish you a Happy Beltane too dear one! 💐💖
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🙂 Big smiles.. and glad you now know a new word.. LOL.. Enjoy.. I will.. 🙂
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Oh Marie: I can see why it comes back to you. Your fear was so tangible, my heart was in my stomach. I am so glad someone was watching out for you. Thank you for sharing this memory. In love and light, Cheryle
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Thank you Cheryle for your kind, thoughtful words. In love and light, Marie ❤
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Oh my gosh!! I’m so glad you got out of that. How frightening for you. I remember seeing creepy, empty houses, and bad boys and I too had those Catholic blue uniforms- it’s all so similar. It sounds like an angel rescue. Thanks for sharing your memory.
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Thank you Tamara. It was indeed an ‘angel rescue’ – I feel sure that my guardian angel protected me that day.
Thank you also for the follow – it’s great to meet you and have this connection.:)
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What a chilling story. I’m glad you were saved by the one who spoke out. Amazing the power of the herd, but clearly not as powerful as that of the one going against the status quo.
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Thank you Mek. At the time the experience was shocking. In retrospect, I have a more rounded picture of the real horror of the situation from a place of safety. And your analysis is spot on!
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Beautiful post Marie, hit right in the heart.
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Thank you Soiba. I appreciate Your kind words and how much it resonated with you.
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